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19 Chuck Norris Exhibitor Jokes

Chuck Norris’s toughness is so legendary, there are hundreds of Chuck Norris jokes on the internet about his strength and fearsomeness. For example:

  • Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

But what if Chuck Norris was an exhibitor?  What feats of strength, endurance, and excellence could Chuck bring to trade shows?  The mind boggles at the possibilities:

  1. Chuck Norris sent a direct mail pre-show promotion to 100 pre-registered attendees – and 101 came.
  2. Show contractors are so scared of Chuck Norris, they don’t charge him drayage.
  3. Half of Chuck Norris’s competitors backed out of the show when they heard he was exhibiting there.
  4. Chuck Norris is so smart, he selected a show where 100% of the entire buying market was attending.
  5. Chuck Norris fixed a broken weld on his exhibit by squeezing it.  With only two fingers.  Of his left hand.
  6. Chuck Norris installed an island trade show exhibit in just one hour.  Without tools, instructions, or a ladder.  On straight time.  With a 15-minute break.
  7. When Chuck Norris did a social media promotion for his trade show booth via Twitter, he caused the #failwhale to appear – and then it asked for his autograph.
  8. Chuck Norris doesn’t need crowd gathers when he booth staffs; he needs crowd dispersers.
  9. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to qualify leads, because all his leads are “A” leads.
  10. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to measure his trade show results, because they all bought.
  11. When Chuck Norris had a typo on his booth graphics, the dictionary changed its spelling of the word.
  12. Chuck Norris worked an entire 5-day show in Germany, 10 hours a day, standing up, without a break, in cowboy boots that were 2 sizes too small.  And still looked great.
  13. Chuck Norris can eat convention center food every day of the show. Twice a day.
  14. Chuck Norris’s exhibit was declared “Best of Show” – before it was set up.
  15. Chuck Norris can set up a banner stand in under a second – just by looking at it.
  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a stapler to attach business cards to lead cards – he just pinches them together.
  17. None of the brochures Chuck Norris gives attendees get thrown away before the attendees return to their offices.  Or after.
  18. Chuck Norris had his island exhibit completely packed after the show — before his crates returned from drayage.
  19. Chuck Norris took a lead from every single attendee at the show.  On the first day.

If Chuck Norris were writing Chuck Norris exhibitor jokes, he would have come up with 100.  Help a regular guy out, and add your own!

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About the Author

Mike Thimmesch is the Principal at Thimmesch Marketing. For over 25 years, he has created and implemented innovative marketing, lead generation, and exhibiting strategies that profitably grow company sales and brand awareness. Mike rose to Director level at Skyline Exhibits, where he helped generate over a half million leads, resulting in over $1 billion in sales. He published 11 industry white papers and eight exhibiting books, presented over 100 trade show webinars, and wrote over 200 exhibit marketing blog posts.

27 responses to “19 Chuck Norris Exhibitor Jokes

  1. Love it. Everyone loves good Chuck Norris jokes. One of my favs: Chuck Norris doesn’t need Twitter, he’s already following you.

  2. 20. Chuck Norris hired a company to build his booth. And they paid him.
    21. The Marshalling yard was named for him.
    22. When the General contractor delivered his final invoice to Chuck Norris, they owed him money.
    23. The show closed early so he could make his flight.

  3. 24. During a presentation Chuck Norris was giving near the end of a tradeshow all the clocks stopped until he was finished.
    25. During a power outage at a tradeshow everyone’s booth went darks except Chuck Norris’. Dark is afraid of him.

  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t hand out tchotchkes at trade shows, only round house kicks.

    Behind Chuck Norris’s beard is a lead scanning machine.

  5. They once renamed the street outside of the convention center after Chuck Norris but had to change it back because no one would cross Chuck Norris.

  6. Chuck Norris held a raffle at his booth. First prize was a promise that Chuck Norris would not roundhouse kick you in the face.

  7. 26. Chuck Norris sold his sold to the devil for the best spot at the trade show. Then, he gave the devil a roundhouse kick and took his soul back. They laugh about it Thursday nights while playing poker…

  8. 27. Chuck Norris’ feet do not get tired standing up at a trade show. His boots respect him so much, they stand up for him.

    28. Chuck Norris does not run through the airport to catch a plane if he is late. He is a “Walker”. (Take that, O.J.!)

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